The following is an ad for Colonel Popcorn's new Pop and Go Easy Bags, presented by Comix (Note: This is not a real product, or a real advertisement.).
Hey, you! Yeah, guy with the popcorn! Don't you ever get tired of popcorn that takes forever to pop? Also, are you tired of just one popcorn flavor? Not much of a talker, are you? Well stop the pop and start anew with Colonel Popcorn's Pop and Go Easy Bags! Simply heat one of our patented bags for 1.374759596 seconds and you've got easy popcorn in a cinch!
Now, here's the best part: Why choose regular popcorn when we've got 235 flavors?! Indulge in such popcorn flavors as sand, racoon, burned plastic, mutton, noodle soup, rubber ball, cherry pie, fake fur, gravel, magpie, butter surprise, thin mints, and MORE! (Personally, the Colonel preferred kumquat popcorn.)
These bags differ from other popcorn bags because of their portability. Take them to the movies, social gatherings, ANYWHERE!
Don't take our word for it, listen to this satisfied (And totally not bribed) customer:
"I love it!"
Okay, thank you sir!
Available at all minor retailers and roadside gas stations! And remember, stop before you pop, it's as simple as 1.374759596 seconds of your time!
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